I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
