Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
