it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I looked at my own cervix.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
