from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
