I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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