remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
