I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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