did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
