i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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