Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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