We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
They took my balls.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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