I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
