what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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