Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
