i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sext me about skeletons
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
