Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
