she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
