you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
