he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How does one acquire holy water?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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