And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
