Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
