Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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