1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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