How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
