There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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