On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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