I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
