Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
