I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
So here I am, sexting at work.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
