but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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