I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
no more duck duck goose at the bar
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
