I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
