omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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