She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
