I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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