If i come over, it means nothing
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
