I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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