escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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