Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
