im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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