I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
