but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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