i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
