I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
