I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
