Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
