Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
