Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
