so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
