Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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